Improve Marriage with Reading

One Proposal for An Improved Marriage

by Lori Lipsky

For the first time in our marriage, we decided to read a book at the same time so we could discuss it together. Credit for the idea goes to my husband, but I was excited about the plan and in total agreement with our book choice.

My husband had once asked a well-read acquaintance we both respect to recommend several books that had been most influential in his life. One of the authors this man mentioned was Dostoevsky. We decided to choose Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov. I’m a bit ashamed to admit what happened next.

I could make excuses, but the quick truth is my husband read the book right away and then patiently waited for years for me to complete it. I started in several times but got bogged down in the early pages by the long Russian names. Prior to this I had read Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina and some Chekhov stories so I’m not sure why I struggled. I guess I allowed myself to be distracted by life and by other books, and I put off the Dostoevsky. As I look back, I regret not making The Brothers Karamazov more of a priority. I eventually purchased an audio copy of the book and completed the novel.

After I finished listening to the book, we shared our impressions with one another. Remarkably, my husband remembered details of the book quite well. Since then, we’ve read or listened to dozens of books and discussed them. We have different tastes, but our interests intersect with authors like David McCullough, Louise Penny, and David Baldacci. When it’s time to order another Audible book, we’ll sometimes collaborate to choose a selection we agree on so we can both listen on our own, but then have the book in our shared reading history.

Our book talk is informal and brief, but it’s a treat to talk books with my husband. We’ve found discussing books often sparks interesting conversation. Good books teach me more about who I am, but each new book we share helps me learn more about my spouse, too. We’re learning together as a couple. We discuss dreams and ideas. Books get us talking, and in marriage, communication is a good thing.

About the Author:

Lori Lipsky is a writer and teacher. Her poetry and short fiction pieces have appeared in a variety of literary journals and magazines. She lives in Waunakee, Wisconsin with her husband, where she teaches piano at a private music school. You can find her at on Twitter @LoriSLipsky

50-50 Journaling

Starting a 50/50 Journal

By Kathi Lipp

I am a serial journaler. In my years walking on this planet, I have left an impressive number of

three page-filled journals in the wake of my path. I am a sucker for a cute journal—something

romantic about a private place to keep my thoughts and dreams. Each time I’m at a bookstore I

can’t help but peruse the journal section, dreaming about the beautiful things I’d write in that

gorgeous black leather bound book—or maybe the bright orange and green floral journal with

the matching pen. Oh—the possibilities.

That is how it went on the day that I met my new journal. With its dark red cover and Irish

proverb on the front, it not only matched my mood, it matched my hair color and heritage at the

same time. Love at first sight.

After purchasing the journal and a hazelnut latte, I curled up in one of the bookstore chairs to …

what I didn’t know.

I didn’t want this to just be another started and abandoned journal. I wanted this journal to be

different. I spent almost half an hour staring at a blank page.

If I knew I was going to live another 50 years, what would I want those fifty years to look like—

what would I like to say I had done with that time?

So, I started to write everything down. I figured that if I was healthy and stayed out of the way of

people talking on cell phones while driving, it was conceivable that I

years on this planet. I wrote down fifty things I wanted to accomplish in the next fifty years.

Somehow, this new journal seemed different than the ones I’d started before. This was not a

daily recitation of deep thoughts that I had while walking on the beach. This felt big, important,

and all for me.

I felt silly writing some of those goals down—getting my nails done once a week—that seemed

less like a goal and more like self-indulgence. “Take a gourmet cooking class” seemed a little

frivolous as well. But one of the things I promised myself was that I was going to be very free in

what I wrote down—I would not censor myself because it seemed silly or trivial. I trusted that

these goals were between me and God, and asked Him to bless me in the goals that were within

His will, and to take away the desire for the ones that may not be from Him.

It has been fascinating to see God working in my 50/50 journal. About once a month, I update

any progress made towards the goal. It can be as simple as buying a book on cross-country

travel; I make a note of it on the page that has “Travel around the United States for a month

without a schedule” as the goal. Any progress is noted and celebrated.

In my 50/50 journal, every small step is recorded and celebrated—my own personal record of

how deeply interested God is in delighting me by first putting desires in my heart, and then

blessing me by giving me the desires of my heart.

We all have these nebulous goals in our lives that we want to accomplish, someday. If you have

never taken the time to commit them to paper, do it today. There is power in writing your goals

down. They become concrete and tangible. The goals are easier to break down into smaller

steps—giving you a real chance at seeing those dreams become a reality.

could have another fifty

- Article adapted from a chapter in

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