I'll Settle For Love review

I’ll Settle for Love by Michelle Lynn Brown

Contemporary Inspirational Family Fiction

November, 2013

$2.99

$7.99

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About the Book:

Leanne grew up under the steady trickle of the harsh and belittling words of her critical mother, in the shadow of her sisters’ perfection, and under the weight of a dark secret. With her self-confidence all but eroded, and her head hanging down, she is surprised when Mike McKinley notices her. With every kind word, Mike erases a little pain from her past, and for the first time, she feels as if she is standing on firm ground. But seven years into their marriage, she realizes that her foundation is lying on shallow ground. As their marriage and family begin to settle, the cracks appear.

Mike McKinley is a fixer. From cars to people, he is the guy to go to when you have something that needs repair. But when their oldest daughter is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, he is sent into a tail spin. As his daughter is struggling to stay afloat in her world, and his wife is drowning in her insecurities, Mike feels helpless to do anything to save them.

A wide chasm separates their marriage, and storms threaten to send them crashing through the pit. Can Leanne fight her past, her insecurities and her failing faith to discover the difference between settling for the storm, and striving for the rainbow that comes after?

Review:

As the summary says, two people fall in love and marry. One of them wears despair so well under a veneer of the perfect wife no one knows she’s suffering, and the other has gotten so good at seeing what he wants to see that he refuses to remove his rose-colored glasses to understand why his wife spends an inordinate amount of time protecting their daughter from life.

Unlike a traditional romance, I’ll Settle for Love is about dealing with what comes after the wedding. Real life takes work, and while Leanne and Mike do have a great relationship and are making it as a family in a middle class world, Leanne’s past is slowly creeping up on her. Mike continues to gloss over the reasons Leanne refuses to spend time with her parents and made him vow to never, ever allow their children unsupervised visits at their home. His own parents more than make up any slack, and it never occurs to Mike that there’s an obvious problem. In fact, any problem that can’t be revealed through a mechanical diagnosis and fixed with a wrench escapes his happy-go-lucky viewpoint. When Leanne’s stepfather dies, the bough breaks and it takes more tears, more loss, and a lot of faith to undo a life of parental damage and remake the family according to God’s plan.

This is in many ways a difficult story, but told with empathetic and sympathetic characters. The end is not completely obvious, and readers will enjoy making their way through the twists. Adult themes make me suggest parental oversight for younger than tenth-grade readers.

About the Author:
When Michelle Lynn Brown was a teenager, her mother used to take her to used books stores at least once a month. It was there she fell in love with the written word. As a writer, she uses this passion to share with others the joy of having a personal and intimate relationship with Christ.

She is a housewife, mother of three, military spouse, writer, blogger, hopeless romantic, and a cuddly lap for one very large cat. She was born in Dayton, Ohio, but raised in El Paso, Texas. And since she married her husband, the military has blessed her with the opportunity to live in many locations, from Germany to Pennsylvania, where she now resides.

National Daughter-in-Law Day

Please enjoy this guest post from Deb DeArmond
I love my daughters-in-law too!

 

Finding Our Way, Figuring it Out

 

By Deb DeArmond
 
September 26 is National Daughter-in-Law Day. I’m blessed with three wonderful DILs. I’ve also authored a book on relationships between Daughters-in-Law and Mothers-in-Law. Related By Chance, Family By Choice, releasing November 1. This article is written as a reminder to mother-in-laws to honor those sometimes considered “the other woman.”

“You know what I love about you?” asked my daughter-in-law Sarah as we sat in our favorite coffeehouse. “You don’t have an opinion about everything we do.”

I almost laughed out loud.

​“Of course, I do,” I replied. “I’m just not entitled to give it unless you ask for it or God instructs me to share it.”

She seemed surprised—and that felt good. Those who know me are aware I always have an opinion. Her surprise was feedback that I’d done a fairly good job of keeping it to myself more often than not.

Unsolicited advice on topics like finances, childrearing, cooking, or housekeeping masked behind “I’m just trying to help”—are a recipe for conflict. To your son’s wife, it sends the message that what she’s doing isn’t acceptable—she may feel you’re attempting to control her and the home she’s making for her family. The need to control never comes from a position of love. It comes from a position of fear. Let it go.

Instead, set your heart to pray for your daughter-in-law, to encourage her, to learn what’s important to her. I’d never been interested in the sport of running until DIL Penny joined our family. I’m looking forward to attending a race that marks her return to competitive running after the birth of my grandson. She’s her regaining her strength and speed. It’s been fun to share in her success, and I’m so proud of her.

 

When you appreciate the young woman your son has chosen, the need to point out her shortcomings becomes less tempting. Once you see her as God made her to be, you stop seeing flaws and you value her in a new way.

I recently shared an important lesson with a young friend, raising two little boys. She can’t imagine a woman could ever be good enough for them.

“If you make your sons the center of your world,” I told her, “you will be devastated, because you will never be the center of theirs.” She nodded, her eyes brimming with tears, the truth of the words sinking into her heart.

“How can I get beyond this? What can I do to make sure I don’t become a monster-in-law who ends up alienating not only my future daughters-in-law, but my sons as well?”

Here are the tips I shared with her.

•  Accept the Word as the authority on family order. The Lord is clear on this. The covenant we make is with our husbands, not our sons. Scripture in both the Old and New Testament all carry nearly identical passages about leaving and cleaving. It’s critical we acknowledge and submit to this principle. If it’s God’s plan for the family, it should be our plan.

•  Surrender your need to advise. This can be tough, but’s not optional. Wait till she asks, or until God prompts you. She may do things differently than you, but different is not wrong, it’s just different.

•  Pray for your son’s spouse-to-be. Son still single? Pray! When our son proposed after a very brief courtship, friends questioned my calm. The answer was simple: I had prayed for her all of his life. My heart recognized her the moment I met her. I experienced peace, certain of his choice. Praying for your son and his future wife when they’re still children also helps to prepare your heart. So no matter his age, pray. Start now.

When you are willing to honor your son’s choice, you are honoring God and walking in obedience. I didn’t lose my sons; I gained three wonderful daughters. What a gift.

 

The boys did not necessarily want a girl “just like the girl that married dear old dad.” We are unique, different from one another, but we share a love for Jesus and the desire to live life together successfully as a family. I learned to think of the differences as a gift. Different isn’t wrong—it’s just different.

Amazing how much easier it was to suspend judgment when I stopped comparing my way to theirs. I’ve been surprised by how much they can teach me if I’m open to learning. We’ve grown closer as a result. I know these are smart girls—they think my boys are wonderful!

 

Deb DeArmond is an expert in the fields of communication, relationship and conflict resolution. A writer and professional speaker, Deb focuses on topics related to the family and women. Kregel Publications will release her first book in November 2013 entitled, Related by Chance, Family by Choice, focused on relationships between women-in-law. She is co-founder of My Purpose Now, a website devoted to Christian women 50+. Read Deb at Family Matters/Deb DeArmond and My Purpose Now.

 

Fruit of My Spirit, with Deanna Nowadnick

Welcome author Deanna Nowadnick, who shares about her book, Fruit of My Spirit.

Book Description:
Paperback: 114 pages
Publisher: Rhododendron Books
ISBN: 978-0983589723
EBook: 2438 KB

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Hi, Deanna! Tell us what you love about this book

I love that I got to tell my story. I did not intend to write a book. I just wanted my sons Kyle and Kevin to know how I met their father. One story became two stories, two stories became four stories, and suddenly I was announcing to anyone within earshot, “I think I wrote a story.” Now I love that I get to share my story. It’s been an absolute joy and delight to hear back from readers and reviewers, to learn how they have connected to my tales of challenge and hope. We laugh over camping fiascos. We wonder about those plaid pants from 1973. We mourn losses. Without ever meeting, without ever sharing a latte, we’ve bonded in ways that I have truly treasured.

That's great! Can you share something unique that you learned during the writing and publishing of this book?

I learned that there is nothing as cathartic as sharing our experiences in writing. Words, sentences, and paragraphs give order and meaning to so many things that get thrown into our mental box of memories. We all have a story to tell. During my first book signing, the single most repeated comment was, “I have a story to tell.” I quickly began to focus on ways to empower and encourage others to share their own story in a way that is most meaningful to them. For Christmas, my aunt sent me a wonderful cookbook of favorite family receipts. I don’t cook. I’ll probably never use a single recipe, but open opening the package, I sat down and read the book cover to cover. You see each page had a paragraph or two about my aunt, most stories unbeknownst to me. Not everyone will write a book, but everyone can share their story.

What's coming down the road for you?

The first draft of Book 2 is done. Signs in Life: Meeting God at the Corner of Grace and Mercy tells of those times when God has come alongside and guided, directed, and turned me. This book is another collection of short stories, this time recounting when God has met me at life’s crossroads, when I’ve been “on point” with God, not because of anything I’ve done, but because a loving, gracious, merciful God has been there time after time, again and again.

 I love that title. Thank you, Deanna, for sharing yourself today.

About the Author:

Fruit of My Spirit is my first book. My “day job” is with The Planner’s Edge, an investment advisory firm in Washington State. The boss and I have been together for 22 years. Today I’m his Client Service Coordinator. I have thoroughly enjoyed being part of his practice and working with his clients. And since I telecommute, I have even more time to write! I live in Monroe, Washington in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I’m the mother of two delightful young men, one who has read the book and one who has decided it’s just way more information about Mom than he needs at this point in life. I’m active in my church, editing the monthly newsletter and playing the violin during worship services. I love to knit, I adore chocolate, and most important I enjoy a blessed marriage to my best friend, Kurt.

Want to connect with Deanna?

·         Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FruitofMySpirit

·         Twitter: @DeannaNowadnick

·         Blog:http://fruitofmyspirit.com/blog/

Melding Family and Immagination: Night of the Cossack

Thomas Blubaugh, Night of the Cossack review

c.2011 Bound by Faith Publishers

Print $15 and Ebook $6.75

ISBN: 978-0982902929

Blubaugh's novel is based on the imagined life of his Jewish grandfather in the Ukraine, as a Cossack, before immigrating to the United States in 1910.

Sixteen-year-old Nathan and his younger brother Israel are wakened by the invasion of their Georgian village, Gagra, near the Caucasus mountains. They feel with their mother, only the clothes on their backs and weapons they can snatch. Kidnapped into a Cossack patrol, Nathan is forced to accept a new name, Stepan Ivanov, and a new faith – Christian Orthodoxy.

For Stepan, learning to become a mercenary extortionist Cossack means full adoption into a new life in their village of Aksay and even a bit of brainwashing in order to learn the ways of the soldiers. But on the eve of the programs and the Revolution, the Cossacks of Aksay are drafted into the Russian army. Terrible choices, tragedy and betrayal cause Stepan to head west to a different fate. When his past catches up to him, trust doesn’t come easy.

With great sensory details and descriptions that tickle your nose and fancy, Blubaugh’s novel will enrich your library as he takes you back to a time of danger and adventure in a culture far, far away.