National Daughter-in-Law Day

Please enjoy this guest post from Deb DeArmond
I love my daughters-in-law too!

 

Finding Our Way, Figuring it Out

 

By Deb DeArmond
 
September 26 is National Daughter-in-Law Day. I’m blessed with three wonderful DILs. I’ve also authored a book on relationships between Daughters-in-Law and Mothers-in-Law. Related By Chance, Family By Choice, releasing November 1. This article is written as a reminder to mother-in-laws to honor those sometimes considered “the other woman.”

“You know what I love about you?” asked my daughter-in-law Sarah as we sat in our favorite coffeehouse. “You don’t have an opinion about everything we do.”

I almost laughed out loud.

​“Of course, I do,” I replied. “I’m just not entitled to give it unless you ask for it or God instructs me to share it.”

She seemed surprised—and that felt good. Those who know me are aware I always have an opinion. Her surprise was feedback that I’d done a fairly good job of keeping it to myself more often than not.

Unsolicited advice on topics like finances, childrearing, cooking, or housekeeping masked behind “I’m just trying to help”—are a recipe for conflict. To your son’s wife, it sends the message that what she’s doing isn’t acceptable—she may feel you’re attempting to control her and the home she’s making for her family. The need to control never comes from a position of love. It comes from a position of fear. Let it go.

Instead, set your heart to pray for your daughter-in-law, to encourage her, to learn what’s important to her. I’d never been interested in the sport of running until DIL Penny joined our family. I’m looking forward to attending a race that marks her return to competitive running after the birth of my grandson. She’s her regaining her strength and speed. It’s been fun to share in her success, and I’m so proud of her.

 

When you appreciate the young woman your son has chosen, the need to point out her shortcomings becomes less tempting. Once you see her as God made her to be, you stop seeing flaws and you value her in a new way.

I recently shared an important lesson with a young friend, raising two little boys. She can’t imagine a woman could ever be good enough for them.

“If you make your sons the center of your world,” I told her, “you will be devastated, because you will never be the center of theirs.” She nodded, her eyes brimming with tears, the truth of the words sinking into her heart.

“How can I get beyond this? What can I do to make sure I don’t become a monster-in-law who ends up alienating not only my future daughters-in-law, but my sons as well?”

Here are the tips I shared with her.

•  Accept the Word as the authority on family order. The Lord is clear on this. The covenant we make is with our husbands, not our sons. Scripture in both the Old and New Testament all carry nearly identical passages about leaving and cleaving. It’s critical we acknowledge and submit to this principle. If it’s God’s plan for the family, it should be our plan.

•  Surrender your need to advise. This can be tough, but’s not optional. Wait till she asks, or until God prompts you. She may do things differently than you, but different is not wrong, it’s just different.

•  Pray for your son’s spouse-to-be. Son still single? Pray! When our son proposed after a very brief courtship, friends questioned my calm. The answer was simple: I had prayed for her all of his life. My heart recognized her the moment I met her. I experienced peace, certain of his choice. Praying for your son and his future wife when they’re still children also helps to prepare your heart. So no matter his age, pray. Start now.

When you are willing to honor your son’s choice, you are honoring God and walking in obedience. I didn’t lose my sons; I gained three wonderful daughters. What a gift.

 

The boys did not necessarily want a girl “just like the girl that married dear old dad.” We are unique, different from one another, but we share a love for Jesus and the desire to live life together successfully as a family. I learned to think of the differences as a gift. Different isn’t wrong—it’s just different.

Amazing how much easier it was to suspend judgment when I stopped comparing my way to theirs. I’ve been surprised by how much they can teach me if I’m open to learning. We’ve grown closer as a result. I know these are smart girls—they think my boys are wonderful!

 

Deb DeArmond is an expert in the fields of communication, relationship and conflict resolution. A writer and professional speaker, Deb focuses on topics related to the family and women. Kregel Publications will release her first book in November 2013 entitled, Related by Chance, Family by Choice, focused on relationships between women-in-law. She is co-founder of My Purpose Now, a website devoted to Christian women 50+. Read Deb at Family Matters/Deb DeArmond and My Purpose Now.

 

Book Review: Just Verdicts

Just Verdicts Review

Joseph Max Lewis

 

Publisher: Trestle Press

Publication date: 5/2/2013

99-cent!

Literary Short Stories

Amazing! Three stories that are so real, so heart-breaking...reads like ripped from the headlines. Very good, Max! The author's background sizzles and if you don't know him, you'll want to acquaint yourself promptly.

 

It’s hard not to agree with popular opinion that people who are in a place to make decisions that affect the lives of others, no matter the profession, should always make the right one. But, “right” according to whom? It’s equally hard not to ache with the man in Lewis’s first story who goes after lawyers in public places after the system couldn’t erase his own personal tragedy. Lump them all together, right, laugh at the usual jokes, right? Treat them all the same—until he runs into Stanley Hardy, a criminal defense attorney with a conscience. In the end, “How do you do it?” is a question both men must answer.

 

In Iraq, an American lawyer on fellowship to assist with legal reforms, Ralph Jackson, meets female judge Isha Hami. It’s unfortunate that the reader assumes nothing good will come of this scenario. She’s trying a case where American soldiers are the only witnesses in a terrorist murder case. But the most resistance comes from a place Jackson least expects.

 

The third story might be the shortest and is the most cryptic. Steve Burgess, good old boy wallowing in self-pity after an accident that took his family, gets a chance to make good in a way that makes the reader want to read it over just for the simplicity of a good sting.

Prism's Birthday Blog Hop

I am so happy to be celebrating this birthday!

Paula Mowery, Kathy Rouser, Teena Stewart, and yours truly, joined the Prism family when our forthcoming book, Brave New Century, was contracted. The book releases in November, and we're very excited about the project, and our delightful cover.

Because this book is not yet available, I'm giving away an electronic copy of another of my books, Healing Grace, to the tenth person to comment here today about his or her favorite birthday memory.

Please enjoy the following cookie recipe, and don't foget to sign up for the bigger Prism prize, and visit the other bloggers for more chances at the big drawing!

White Chocolate Chunk Cranberry Nut Cookies

sift: 3 1/4 cup flour (can make a blend of whole wheat flour and oatmeal and white flour if desired), 1 tsp. baking soda and 1/2 tsp. baking powder
set aside

cream: 1 cup margarine, 3/4 cup brown sugar and 3/4 cup white sugar, 1 tsp vanilla
stir in: 2 eggs, beaten

fold in dry ingredients and beat; stir in 1 cup craisins, 3/4 cup white chocolate chunks, 1 cup chopped nuts - walnuts or pecans or your choice

drop by spoonful on baking sheet and bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes, just browned. They will puff and fall - remove from sheet and cool

makes 3-4 dozen, depending on size

Enjoy!


To be entered to win the $100 gift card, please sign up with the Rafflecopter below.

Follow the blog hop for other great prizes, fun, and recipes! a Rafflecopter giveaway

CrossReads Book Blast: UnEmbraceable by Precarious Yates

Title: UnEmbraceable By: Precarious Yates

About the Book

From the author of "Revelation Special Ops" comes a terrifying, hauntingly real and daringly hopeful tale of betrayal and love.

Leonard, a computer programmer, has a unique gift: by words alone he can calm violent situations. Which is helpful with all these kids running around the streets behaving like zombies. He has his own set of sorrows to face, but he's prepared for anything. Anything except Tamar, and the thunderous inkling that she will be his wife. This doesn't make any sense to Leonard. She stole his wallet. And his heart. Painful circumstances ripped family and stability from Tamar's grasp, but with gutsy tenacity she faces life head on. Meeting the gorgeous and single Leonard changes everything. But surely a guy like him would never fall for a girl of the streets like her.
LINK to KINDLE | LINK to PAPERBACK Precarious Yates Precarious Yates lives in Texas with husband, daughter, sheep, dogs, chickens, rabbit, lizard and by the time you read this some other exotic creature her husband or daughter has brought home. She had studied the plight of and worked toward the abolition of modern slavery for over a decade before sitting down to write Revelation Special Ops. She was further inspired by the work of her sister-in-law, who helped to found Love146, an organization that works to raise awareness about human trafficking and builds safe homes in vulnerable regions. Yates spent several years overseas as a missionary in Ireland, and also did missions work in India and the Philippines. Her passion for literature has become her means of further educating young adults of the realities of modern slavery, while producing hope through the power of Christ Jesus in us.
Follow Precarious Yates Website | Facebook | Twitter

Enter to Win a $50 Amazon Gift Card!

Enter below to enter a $50 amazon gift card, sponsored by author Precarious Yates! a Rafflecopter giveaway This book blast is hosted by Crossreads. We would like to send out a special THANK YOU to all of the CrossReads book blast bloggers!

Be The Blessing by Paula Mowery

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We all wonder why bad things happen to good people. Can God use even the worst events in our lives to help us feed the world around us? Be the Blessing skillfully provides both food for thought and food for discussion." -- Lisa Wingate, national best-selling author of The Sea Glass Sisters and The Prayer Box.

 

Addy Townsend hadn’t strolled with Conrad or had a vision in five years. Now Conrad has returned to challenge her to be a blessing to those around her. The Holy Spirit begins to nudge her into service in new ways and she follows.

But when she is blindsided with personal problems, can Addy learn to be a willing vessel even in times of struggle and suffering?

The Inspiration for Be the Blessing

 

One evening I was thinking on an illustration I hear pastors use sometimes. A man went to Heaven and was touring with one of the angels. They arrived at a warehouse filled with beautifully wrapped gifts. The man asked what they were and the angel said: “These are all of the blessings God wants to grant but haven’t been asked for.” I continued to contemplate the story when I went to bed. Not to sound mystical or anything, but God suddenly “downloaded” the whole outline for THE BLESSING SEER into my mind. I had to get up and write it down. Throughout the writing God has taught me what it means to leave my comfort zones and do something significant for Him. I don’t ever want to miss out on blessings God has in store because I didn’t ask or didn’t obey His directives.

THE BLESSING SEER is available through the publisher – www.pelicanbookgroup.com or most other ebook distributors.

When the edits for THE BLESSING SEER were complete and production began, my editor asked if there would be a sequel. I hadn’t really thought about it until she suggested the idea. Immediately God began to churn in my heart and mind about the next lesson my main character needed to learn about blessings. He revealed to me that even through suffering, a Christian can be a blessing to another person. It is in these moments of trial that a believer can learn and be a living testimony of the grace of God. Others can grasp this grace and be blessed through a child of God because of the ability to empathize. Thus, BE THE BLESSING was born. This new chapter in the main character’s life releases Sept. 13^th and will be available from the publisher and other ebook distributors. Through this sequel, I pray the reader can see that he/she can trust God to be near during hard times and know He will use the lessons learned through trials to touch others.

About the Author:

Paula Mowery  Author, Editor, Speaker 

 

Paula Mowery is a pastor’s wife and former homeschool mom. She has always been an avid reader of Christian fiction.

 

She began writing in the area of nonfiction creating three Bible studies which were self-published. However, she crafted fiction stories which she shared with friends and family. When one of her readers encouraged her to pursue publication, she joined American Christian Fiction Writers, learning more about the world of fiction. Her debut work of fiction is a novella published by Harbourlight, a division of Pelican Book Group – THE BLESSING SEER. She is also an acquiring editor for Prism Book Group.

 

Please look me up and connect with me.

Find me on Facebook under Paula Mowery. I also have an author page on Facebook.

Check out my blog. You can subscribe to receive posts through your email.

Also, I can be found on LinkedIn.

Find my monthly articles at www.christianonlinemagazine.com.

My ebook, The Blessing Seer, is available through any ebook distributor and through my publisher, Pelican Book Group.

In November, the book, Brave New Century, will release from Prism Book Group. This is a historical romance collection of four stories where my story, Forgiven, is included.

Take a look at my editor bio at www.prismbookgroup.com. I am an acquisitions editor for this publisher where I have two authors I have signed so far.

Book Review, A Life Worth Dreaming About, by Nick Dettmann

 

A Life Worth Dreaming About by Nicholas Dettmann

Author House

Date: February, 2012

$3.99 eBook; $16.99 print

Gen Fiction

 

 

Description: Carl Robertson, a 32-year-old man, did everything he could to move out of his small Midwestern town, losing many friends along the way. He dreamt of living the elegant lifestyle of New York City. He used his anger and hatred to move out of his hometown, discredit it and never wanted to think about it again.

 

For a while, it worked. Then, he finds his life on the ropes and doesn't know why or how to change it. That is until he meets a man who will change his life forever and in a way he never could've seen coming. Suddenly, he finds himself trying to catch up to a new reality, just in time to save his life and find his true love.

Learn more at www.nickdettmann.com

 

Dettmann is a talented journalist foremost, and his reporting skills occasionally make his debut novel read like an article. Readers will find the bones of a good story, that of Carl Robertson, who faces a medical crisis in order to find himself, underneath the layers of a multitude of characters who surround him at his fancy ad exec job. Wading through the opening story of the man who couldn’t be bothered to stop long enough to see the people around him, readers will come across an intriguing tale of second chances. Don’t we all long to “re-do” those things that haunt us?

 

Each person has a dream of the perfect life. Carl got to choose his. Those who enjoy stories like Heaven Can Wait will have a good time watching Carl go back and change the disaster that was his life.

 

 

Trish Jenkins: New and Unusual Friends, and a chance to win a kindle

New and unusual friends in the Watch-House

An excerpt from Treasures of Darkness:

When it was my turn, I contemplated the little room. Metal walls with a filthy little metal shelf moulded in the corner, presumably for my towel and clothes; and some little bumps in the metal floor to prevent slipping. No taps, just a shower rose and a button. I pressed it expecting cold water to spray me or a tiny trickle to dribble down the wall. I was surprised to have a proper shower, until it stopped automatically after 3 minutes. I dried off and dressed in the same shorts and T-shirt that served as underwear and pressed the button to be let out again.

Ill-fitting replacements weren’t issued until Sunday. It was the only change of clothes we were given in the 6 days we were there.

A small rectangle of polished metal was screwed to the wall above our basin to serve as a mirror. It was so high we had to stretch to see a cloudy image of our faces. I don’t remember if we were issued a comb. We had nothing for our skin.

Six days without moisturiser in air-conditioning takes its toll. By the time I got to the prison my face was tight and my lips were so badly chapped that pieces of hard, broken skin were standing up like razors. Both sides of my mouth were split.

It was Friday, and a new member was introduced to our pod.

Bernice was a large, foul mouthed young woman with long, thick hair, very pale skin and rotten teeth. She sailed in, announced she was having withdrawals from heroin, went straight to the other cell and lay down to sleep. My first close contact with what was obviously a “hardened” criminal!

Amanda and I looked at each other and wondered what we were in for when she awoke. The reading I had done regarding withdrawals painted a frightening picture of screaming pain, vomiting, diarrhea, and flinging oneself about for several days.

Our next guest arrived and we pointed to the cell where Bernice was sleeping.

She looked frightened, and asked us anxiously, “Will she attack me?” Not having a clue, we answered, “No, you’ll be safe, she’s OK.” We did our best to reassure her but we weren’t the ones sharing a cell with Bernice!

Francis was a young woman with big curls, a baby face and sad eyes. She had worked in the payroll office of a supermarket. She was also a gambling addict. Her job provided her the opportunity to misdirect funds she could then use to gamble with. She is still amazed at how easy it was to create fictional employees.

Francis came from a blended, yet respectable home. She didn’t drink much or do drugs. However, she had begun buying scratch-it cards as a lonely young teenager, quickly becoming addicted. She was to serve 14 months.

In the afternoon, an uproar of catcalls arose from down the corridor. As we craned our necks, we watched in awe as a young wild-haired Indigenous woman strode towards us. With blanket and towel in one hand, the other flipped “the bird” to the male prisoners as she swept past them.

Sophie entered our pod like it was her lounge room, dumping her gear, flopping down with a big grin and a string of profanity.

We liked her instantly.

There was something reassuring about her confidence. I was fascinated. She had got caught with drugs at Southbank, a popular city play area where families gather and security is greater. Cops can generally tell when someone is suspect, and she and her boyfriend just looked, well, suspicious. Giving cheek is a quick way to get more attention from the police, too, even if you are not doing anything wrong.

Sophie was familiar with a variety of watch-houses. She claimed to have miscarried in one due to a police beating. I didn’t know if she was telling the truth, but from what I have heard and observed since, it wouldn’t surprise me. There are many stories from Indigenous women about police brutality but they are difficult to prove.

People like me are not normally bothered by police. As a well-mannered, well-dressed, white woman, I have “respectable” written all over me. By comparison with many women, I have nothing to complain about. In prison I made a point of being polite to everyone, especially officers, regardless of how they spoke to me. I carefully worded my requests, so they would respond favourably. I didn’t feel like a criminal, I didn’t see myself as a criminal, so I didn’t talk to them like I was inferior. This didn’t always endear me to some staff, but those stories will come later...

 

Trish is participating in the John 3:16 Marketing Network book launch. See entry details here: http://john316mn.blogspot.com/2013/09/john-316-marketing-network-book-launch.html

About the Story

FREEDOM ON THE INSIDE

Prison was not on the “Goal Chart” of entrepreneur Trish Jenkins. A breach of the Corporations Act meant losing her multi-million dollar portfolio, including her family home. 

It also meant Trish served 8 months in prison. 

Isolated from her husband and 3 little girls, living among Queensland’s most dangerous criminals, Trish could have succumbed to despair.

 

But treasure is found in dark places.

Refusing to give in to self-pity, Trish answered a new calling to make a difference in the lives around her. In doing so she found a different kind of freedom and healing. 

Real and raw, these pages are better than a memoir; made up of letters, personal journaling and hindsight. 

“I assumed I would be a model prisoner because I was a Christian. So how did I get into so much trouble, so often, yet with the best of intentions?”

Like when she was reported escaped…

Or setting the alarm off in the officers’ quarters…

Or having to explain why the woman she prayed for fell to the floor…

 

Be Inspired

You’ll laugh, cry and shake your head at hilarious stories, tragic circumstances, discouragement, hope and ever present faith. 

“You may have no razor wire around you, but you may feel more like a prisoner than me! Let me share my keys to freedom with you.” 

Buy theBook: .99 e-book; 19.80 print